We’ve had a good sex life thus far, but I’m apprehensive about how the switch to long distance will affect our sex life. It’s jarring to go from seeing each other regularly to relying on technology for the vast majority of your interactions.I’m a little bit shy and haven’t been vocal about sex historically, so phone and video chat sex sound intimidating. It’s great that you have an established relationship, so hopefully you’ll be prepared to communicate about the ups and downs of the transition.Video chat can feel more vulnerable for shy people because you can actually see each other.

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Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics.

This week’s topic: How to have video and phone sex when you're in a long distance relationship.

You get to hear your boyfriend’s responses in real time, which makes it feel less isolating.

Plus it frees up your hands to do other things in the moment!

Q: My boyfriend is moving to another state for a job opportunity that’s too good to turn down.

We’re hoping it will be temporary (maybe only a year).You can start off tame, with a little message that says, “I miss your arms around me” or “I want to kiss you right now.” As you start to feel more comfortable, up the naughty factor with texts like, “I wish you were here in bed next to me.”If you still feel unsure of how to phrase your thoughts, try reading erotic fiction for inspiration.Get a sense of which words feel more natural to you than others. Next, try sending him an email describing what you’d like to do to him the next time you two see each other.Text and email can be one of the easiest places to start, especially if you’re shy.You’ll have plenty of time to collect and edit your thoughts, so you probably won’t feel intimidated or put on the spot.Send each other little messages throughout the day, teasing each other until the next time you’re able to speak or see each other in person.